Lets face it, we men are obsessed with women’s bodies and yet if I needed to tell someone the size of her breasts the best I could probably muster would be “just about right” and if she were to ask me right now what her dress size was I would probably mutter that it didn’t make her bum look big at all. This is in part due to my ever-present attempt to gain brownie points and not spend the night sleeping in the kitchen with the dog, but it is in one big part due to my ignorance. Ask her what size my waist is and she could tell you without a second’s hesitation. It really isn’t that difficult to find out this information either and the list of instructions on how to find out would consist solely of:
1 – Open cupboard door.
2 – Remove appropriate garment.
3 – Check label and make mental note of size.
Even my brain could cope with that first thing in the morning but despite telling myself I should do it I never actually remember to. This could partially be because there is something instilled in the back of my brain that tells me the second I remove her bra and start ferreting around inside it, her mother is bound to burst down the front door unannounced and catch me in the act of apparently sniffing, or worse still putting on, her beloved daughter’s bra. This really isn’t a situation I want to find myself in but if I want to please her (my partner, not her mother) then I should do it. In fact, every man should do it. Go to your wife or girlfriend’s closet and find out her bra size. Write it on a piece of paper and secrete it in your wallet if necessary.
Of course, even once I know the size of her bra that doesn’t make the actual selection any easier. As a general rule of thumb, I’m led to believe that a black latex nurse’s outfit is not considered to be either lingerie or indeed comfortable so I will try to steer clear of that as far as possible, no matter how appealing they look. I will try my utmost to ensure that whatever I buy will not only please me but will make my partner feel sexy as well. This should imply that she will be able to move comfortably and bits don’t poke out when she lifts an arm or tries to sit down, or more importantly lie down.
Visiting any shop that has lingerie in is bound to be a big deal the first time I try it but I’m a grown man and I should be able to cope. The sales assistant probably won’t think that the stuff I buy is for me unless I say something embarrassingly stupid and wear fake breasts. In fact, there’s a very good chance she’s dealt with people like me, and people like you, on a fairly regular basis. You know, the kind of person who skulks around by the knickers looking around shiftily and sweating a lot. In fact, come to think of it, it’s probably best if I don’t do that, and just head straight over to her instead. She will probably be very helpful.
I saw a sign in a lingerie shop that I passed three times the other day and it said they would gift wrap the item. I decided there and then that if I ever built up the courage to go in the shop and actually buy any lingerie, instead of keep walking past it, I would definitely take advantage of that offer. I think being confronted by me carrying a Christmas cracker wrapped present and a proud smile like your son or daughter gets the first time they pee on their own would probably detract from the overall romanticism of the gesture. Besides, I wouldn’t have to carry it home in a way that meant others might be able to see what I’d bought.
I can’t wait to finally see her wearing the new lingerie I buy. I guess the only thing that’s left to do now is actually find out her size and go and buy something appropriate, that is not a latex nurse’s outfit.
Saturday, January 15, 2011
7 Things Every Man Should Know About The Prostate
Next time you see your father, your uncle, or any older gentleman over age 60 or so, ask them about their prostate. If you know the guy well enough, and he feels comfortable enough around you (some would say too comfortable), he will surely share a whole litany of the common prostate problems that are troubling him, or have troubled him, or will trouble him in the near future. That's because an enlarged prostate, benign prostatic hypertrophy, and even prostate cancer can be in the cards for every man past a certain age.
It's the scary but true fact of getting old as a man. For instance, every man should know that prostate cancer is one of the most common prostate problems out there. It tops the list of cancers that afflict men, happening in nearly as many men, roughly speaking, as breast cancer in women. Prostate cancer doesn't get the press that breast cancer does, however, probably because most men would rather not speak about what's happening down there.
The second thing most men don't, but should know is exactly what that prostate is. A prostate is actually part of a man's sexual organs. Located just below the bladder in a man, wrapped around the urethra, the prostate is about the size of a walnut. Its main job in the birds-and-bees scheme of things is to add fluid to your sperm during ejaculation.
And most of the time, men don't even realize they have a prostate because it's a hidden internal organ, but all men find out quickly what and where their prostate is when they suffer a common prostate problem.
For instance, all men should know that prostate issues aren't just for older men. Men under 50 can get prostatitis, or an extremely painful infection of their prostate. This is a swelling of the prostate that can cause fever, a burning sensation during urination, and fatigue.
And all men over 50 should be aware of their number one most common prostate problem, which is an enlarged prostate, or benign prostatic hypertrophy. This benign, or nonfatal condition, is actually far more common in older men than prostate cancer, which should give some relief to older men when they know it.
Men should all be aware of the symptoms of benign prostatic hypertrophy, such as leaking and dribbling during urination, a weak urine stream, trouble getting started with urination, and even small amounts of blood in the urine.
And though benign prostatic hypertrophy is more common than prostate cancer, men should be aware that the two can go hand in hand. It's not always the case, and many men with an enlarged prostate will never develop into cancer. But it's good to keep your eyes out for both, because they can have similar symptoms.
It's the scary but true fact of getting old as a man. For instance, every man should know that prostate cancer is one of the most common prostate problems out there. It tops the list of cancers that afflict men, happening in nearly as many men, roughly speaking, as breast cancer in women. Prostate cancer doesn't get the press that breast cancer does, however, probably because most men would rather not speak about what's happening down there.
The second thing most men don't, but should know is exactly what that prostate is. A prostate is actually part of a man's sexual organs. Located just below the bladder in a man, wrapped around the urethra, the prostate is about the size of a walnut. Its main job in the birds-and-bees scheme of things is to add fluid to your sperm during ejaculation.
And most of the time, men don't even realize they have a prostate because it's a hidden internal organ, but all men find out quickly what and where their prostate is when they suffer a common prostate problem.
For instance, all men should know that prostate issues aren't just for older men. Men under 50 can get prostatitis, or an extremely painful infection of their prostate. This is a swelling of the prostate that can cause fever, a burning sensation during urination, and fatigue.
And all men over 50 should be aware of their number one most common prostate problem, which is an enlarged prostate, or benign prostatic hypertrophy. This benign, or nonfatal condition, is actually far more common in older men than prostate cancer, which should give some relief to older men when they know it.
Men should all be aware of the symptoms of benign prostatic hypertrophy, such as leaking and dribbling during urination, a weak urine stream, trouble getting started with urination, and even small amounts of blood in the urine.
And though benign prostatic hypertrophy is more common than prostate cancer, men should be aware that the two can go hand in hand. It's not always the case, and many men with an enlarged prostate will never develop into cancer. But it's good to keep your eyes out for both, because they can have similar symptoms.
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